why does it happen again?

slipknot - vermillion part 2
stupid sia why must all my friends recommend me sad emo shit songs. yah its sorta nice but it just emo.

i just realised that no matter what i do or how hard i try, the feeling just wont go away. as i sat in the taxi home i could do nothing but stare at the outside. even if the ever-jubilant juhardy was sitting beside me it doesnt help really. so im stuck her. and i accept that. im not going to care already. so let it eat me from the inside. at most i feel hurt and cry or whatever nonsense but thats about it what.

i got no time for all this shit seriously. i dont want to be patient anymore. enough of the saint-ish bullshit. when i was patient towards life, it was shit. and now its still shit. so theres not point anywho. after the assesment period im just gonna let loose. just go let it go. and go and go and go. i dont care already. every single word i type here makes me feel a whole lot better. hell, i wished i could just keep on writing on and on but that'll make this shit shittier. so i stop.

but on a lighter note, ive 100% completed my 5 cardboard sculptures and halfway done with my a2 pastel charcoal drawing (but not happy with it).

i have not started on my clock or the essays.

and..happy birthday alina =)

rock on

and that m-m-m-makes me a disgruntled motherfucker