chili

i just realised that there's a lot of work that needs to be done and i havent done any...yet.


i am so falling love with the triangle. no, im not in a love triangle. just the shape. triangle. the one with the three sides. i think its amazing how you can incorporate this single shape into any structural planning and it makes it so very strong. i dont like columns. so im screwing that. maybe i wont put ANY columns in the plans. load-bearing walls maybe. i need something that is non-static.

computer games. im still obsessed with that as well. i cant have one day without playing something on the com. and that is why my progress is so damn slow. its like a virus. im so addicted to it. im like, playing the com while doing work at the same time. and only 40% is really spent on work. gosh, i havent done my model yet. im screwed!

rock on...

love you...

lithium

you're supposed to be the guy that everyone talks to, when they're down. you help console other people. you're the column that supports the slab. you're not supposed to crack, you're not supposed to breakdown.

but what if you do?

what if the column crashes...what if the wall breaks? what if you need to cry? what if you're tired. exhausted. then what do you do? who do you turn to?

im tired. im waiting. but waiting for what? im always waiting. what if the thing im waiting for never happens? would it be worth the wait? i must always 'gamble' my choices. cause people wont accept certain choices but not me. i accept anything, everything.

because im not political you see. im always the nice guy. im always the helping hand, the open friend. but nice guys finish last. they always do. its a cruel fate. nice guys always get pummeled. then they get thrashed again, if they don't play their cards wrong. unlike bad guys. they get to do all the pummelling. and that's all they've got to worry about. but i cant help being nice. that's just me. but what if i was bad?

im always there for you. but now you always say you've changed. of course people change. and so what if you've changed? i cant get peace. i cant get happiness anymore. even if i do, it's all false hope. an empty mask. there is nothing behind the door, no matter how pretty the door looks like. happiness is sort-lived. sorrow, is not.

its getting very cold. very cold. whatever happened to the past? the past is always better. the future is bleak. we were born in the past. but we die in the future. seeing you doesn't make me happier anymore. im transparent again. im the shade in your mind, that you keep at the back of your head. im always getting pushed away. i wished that you've never changed.

now i sit alone. no one calls me. you're always busy. busy little bumblebee. look i know its your O's. but i had my O's too. and i didn't complain. i had you too. i know you cheered me on. and i responded. ok fine. now its your turn. im cheering you on.

and you ignore me.

businessmen always say that being irrational in this world only brings nothing. rationality is what you really need to succeed. but i say, when being with people, rationality comes best. you decide with your heart when it comes to close friends.

but that doesn't always work. especially with you. sometimes i put in alot of hard work. but i don't get my full dues. i know you cant give me as much as i can give you. but i keep on going. i keep giving. should i continue doing that? the earth's resources are depleting. if they can deplete, wouldn't i deplete as well?

sometimes i cry inside. sometimes i yearn for you. i give myself false hope. something i tell people not to do. ironic isn't it? i don't know whats wrong with me. but if you do, if any of you do, please tell me.

rock on...

love you...

tired

that stupid phone keeps ringing on and on.

poly50 training is so damn tiring. but it wasnt so bad.

i havent cleaned my terrarium for weeks.

i also havent done e-learning.

my room is always a mess.

i cant see my girlfriend.

my computer always lags like an old grandma.

and magic cards costs so fucking expensive.

i dont like blogging that much anymore.

its just dumb.

rock on...

love you...

metal baboons

"how was the jam?"

"better than the peanut butter"

hi guys. school's a drag, as usual. many dudes and dudesses fail to do their work. im no exception.

"you have to be consistent"

"i am consistent! consistently bad!"

XD. nice one reynold.

went to jam at moberly for the first time. not bad. just average. they have this big space for us to 'lounge' with extra comfy crumpler bean bags. the drums arent really tuned. and i didnt bother to tune them anyway. so it was just the five of us being wacky, trying out all the different instruments and stuff like that. should have taken pictures but nah, i'd rather play the drums.

went for my first jamming session in like how many donkey years?! it was with dan's friend. and we were playing metallica. metallica. XD. im like. ok. anything man, as long as i get to play. and so we played fuel (which i messed up initially), for whom the bell tolls (which i owned), fade to black ( i improvised the entire thing XD) and the rather infamous master of puppets (my fave).
i made alot of mistakes. so i sucked. but my friend said i was good. so i dunno.

****

coincidentally met with karen, angela, timothy (his name's timothy right?) and rain at tiong after gym today. sam didnt go gym cuz of his checkup, the poor sod. hope he's okay. we ate at kopitiam ( i tapao-ed BK) where they kept saying bad things about angela in hokkien. i didnt understand a single word they said. but i didnt laugh even though i felt like it. sorry angela. then she got fed up. so they stopped.

i havent been much creative these days. i dunno. i need juice. inspiration, no? need to read more comics. the sandman, the dark night, lucifer...anything! i just wana draw again. and i get so emo if i cant draw anything. yeah i get emo...abit. but only abit. yeap.

my teacher once told me. a picture paints a thousand words, so if you put pictures in your essay then you dont have to write that much. right. so next time i'll draw something. then i dont have to type so much.

love you...

rock on...

been

been a while.

been very busy with school work this past week. total non-stop action.

been obsessed with going to the gym these days. im overjoyed that i gained 2 kilos! usually people dread gaining weight but as for me, im the opposite. i guess you would call it inverse-anorexia. i need to put on more weight!

been stuck thinking about magic. ahh magic. lovely magic. my heart falters as i unwrap the foil of a brand new deck of cards. then i playtested with sam. and lost alot. which i wasnt happy about but it is a new unmodified untested unfamiliar deck. so that kinda makes up for that. but its fun. suspend is fun. fear is fun. shadow is fun. having multiple upkeeps with suspend is great!

been playing diablo 2. i know its an old game. but when u play on hamachi, its lots more enjoyable. now i got an excuse to stop doing work XD.


anyway, here's my VERY FIRST shoe drawing...for Sam.

the mighty Zeus..."you're kinda slow for a human aren't ya?"

rock on...

love you...

planar chaos

nothing much to talk about really. just work and more work. unfinished. dzaki you are undone.
so just pics..




at my gran's place.

mrt.

still at the mrt. i wont tell you which mrt. go figure.

this is called 'Something for Sam - Overrun'. still havent finished. its lacking something. i dont like it at all.

yeap, gonna change font starting today. goodbye ARIAL. hello FONT. im just too lazy to change font anymore.

till next time,

rock on...

love you...

classico

bad day

bad day.

im down with the sickness again. phlegm stuck in my throat. mucus inhabiting my nostril cavity (is that what it's called?). i dont think the lemsip helps. and i refuse to go to the doctor. unless i got fever. which i dont.

i cleaned my room today. rejoice! hahaha. though it doesnt actually feel different. it still has that opression-ness (is that a word?) yet retains that warm and comfy feel to it. but i wish my room was a lot bigger. big enough to squeeze in a drumset maybe?

damn. i still got assignment to do. draw out some concept of the apartment in mind. i still havent been to the site. unbelievable eh? now i needa go buy A3 paper from the stores. i dont think popular has A3. i'll go check it out. if not, then art friend ART FRIEND. all praise be to art friend!

things are unbelievably slow these days. slow is good. 'more time'. then again, slow is bad. 'boring'. the days when u have so much to do, time goes fast. the days when you have nothing to do, time moves at a snail's pace.

haha. i think ive lost touch with the english language. though i still think my english is comprehendable no? the dictionary is my good good friend.

ive been reading the sandman again. sarah is going to be so displeased. cause i think it messes with my head abit. but its a very intellectual book. dark fantasy. praise be to neil gaiman (finally got his name). if you happen to be in the vicinity of a library, go check it out.

singaporeans are fickle minded yeah. not all. but most. i saw this movie at the picture house yesterday. about soccer in singapore. and one scene was PRICELESS. it was the one about the tiger cup. during the event many of us singaporeans cheered the lions. way to go. the next day however, none of us waved/cheered/praised them when they paraded down orchard road on top of an open deck bus.

hey, what happened to the patriotism? the looks on all of their faces. the players that did us proud. looks of anguish. betrayal. lost. its as if nothing has happened. its as if the tiger cup has never existed and all their hard work are put to waste. its a shame seeing my country like this.

cheh. patriotic seh. but seriously. is this what the nation has become? so involved in their 'kiasu-ness' that they have become so self-centered? the world has gone insane. our nation has. in its attempt to make it 'to the top', its citizens have become immoral and passionless. singapore is a machine. not a country. from its houses to its people. le corbusier would be proud!

i hope i dont get pummeled or taken to jail for this. ahaha. thats what they would do to you.

love you...
rock on...

take care sayang...

(sorry no pictures today)

rutabaga

some random pictures...

no drawings today..




its raining outside.

so i cook some pasta.

looks tasty...havent tried though.

spartan shoes!

a sword holder i made for samuel.

sword holder with the sword.

yeah...just some random pictures.

there's no school for the rest of the week! XD

love you...

rock on...