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its true that when im busy drawing something, i always forget about you, cause im so totally engrossed in whatever im drawing.

im sorry but thats me.




art is cruel.

rock on...

love you..

wild wild

i dont think im singaporean. i might be, well, a little bit. but i dont think im even 60% singaporean. im not that into local food (except for the indian food you have to love that). im not into local music. im dont have a local mindset (kiasu). i dont believe in the rat race. i strongly object the study-graduate-work-wife-kids-retire-cpf-dies eventually kind of life. i always believed that life doesnt have to follow any certain order. and you dont have to follow what other people tell you lest its the right thing. basically you influence your life and you live it as you want it to be.

nowadays people are living factory lives. and they are so into it that they dont even realise it themselves. they are like that since childbirth and slowly the spark of individualism is forced out of their heads and they become one with the rest of this (gigantic+enormous)= ginormous living being.

im supposed to post a picture today but didnt have the time to do so. im currently working on a portfolio right now so i guess i should be busy. *hint* i dont care about detailing or part plans or substations anymore and i hope my new escapade will turn out fine. so see yah!

rock on..

love you..

LAMB OF GODness

Corina Shrimp Delight-Calcium Enriched

there are more important things to life than just material wealth. thats why i wont buy that psp slim. i wont buy unnecessary clothes. i wont buy new drumsticks. or a drum pad. i wont buy new shoes (yet) and i wont buy bling (not that i have any). there are more important things in life. either that or im a poor lad.

health. health is more important. without health you'll die faster. you cant run as fast. cant act that fast. cant play fast. cant work well either. cant carry that girl off to wherever whenever. and that is why you have to exercise and go gym once in a while (or everyday). i cant figure out why people HATE to exercise. i dont think laziness is an issue there.

what else. erm. friends. yes. friends are also important. good friends are even better. they are the. well. they are the ones that fill in the blanks. seriously. they lie in between school/work and family. work isnt that important. friends are. and i dont like to use (,)s. friends take you for that joy ride youve been itching to go on for weeks. they are the colours and the noises in your life.

passion. yes. passion is another thing that makes life life. passion is like purpose only that its more enjoyable. without passion there can be no meaning to all this. passion is what makes you who you are. passion can be materialistic. then so be it. kind of contradicting but when you indulge in your passion and theres some money involved then i think thats ok. cause its passion. passion for spending alot of money doesnt count.

family. dont forget family. they are the ones that make your stay at home more enjoyable or miserable. it all depends on you. patience will go anywhere.

Corina Shrimp Delight. try it.

rock on..

love you..

internet slow dah

just yesterday i read gameaxis (magazine) and i saw this guy's work on one of the pages. apparently he is from laselle and when my friends saw it they were like,

"what the fuck? dzaki you can draw way better!"

i am so depressed. how i wish i got some publicity. i always believed that people dont accept creativity. i kinda wished that i could turn ink into cash. fast. and why is it so hard to make a living off a canvas or something. all the artists in the world should fly to venus and live there, where all of us will scrutinize each other's work and there shall be no peace and a neverending stream of art. and then millenia will pass and all of us will never age (because on venus its like peterpan). whatever we imagine will come to life - our drawings, music and dance.

frustration.

*****

have you ever noticed that talent, genius and drugs mixed together to a fine cocktail can give you fame, recognition and fantastic art? ive always wondered whether drugs (the illegal kind) has any positive effect on talented people.

we all know that athletes perform much better under the daily(?) consumption of steroids and we do know that they feed drugs to chicken to make then grow faster. what i dont know is, could drugs possibly make an artist play/write/compose/sing/draw (etc) better? does it have some kind of property that allows the brain to excrete more creative juices?

a month ago i read this book 'scar tissue' which is something like an autobiography of anthony kiedis, the frontman for the red hot chili peppers. through this book ive got to know that musicians often take drugs, especially rockstars. apparently these drugs tend to make them go psycho and crazy (duh) but also extremely creative. maybe that is dependant on how experienced you are in shooting. anyway one example is john fruciante (guitar-rhcp) and his drug abuse often led to him being more productive and thus produced numerous guitar riffs or parts while he is under the influence of drugs.

however, this john fruciante guy is really really talented so i dont really know whether or not the drugs and the alcohol allowed him to be that productive or that they allowed the ideas to flow unhindered. or maybe being in this drugged state that one is able to naturally be genius? for me to know that i guess i have to do some research on drugs. as in real science.

but what if drugs and alcohol really did allow you to be more productive (talent wise)? would there be a huge increase in the number of people taking drugs? and would it be a banned substance? i dont even know why its banned in the first place (maybe because its highly addictive?) but what if instead of condemning it, shouldnt science like, develop it into something that can make everyone a genius?

i was kinda thinking like, the average human uses 5% of its brain. einstein used 7%. correct me if im wrong here. what it, under the controlled influence of some superdrug that we, humans, are able to use more than that said 5%? and what would be the consequences of use using our brains to its full capacity? would we be able to fly? would all of us be psychic? or would we explode under some continuous stress or brain activity?

rock on..

love you..

WARNING: Soccer Post

i know all of you support derby but bear with me aite?

end of first half - almunia blunder

start of second half - way to go fabregas!

end of second half - defensive blunder

extra time - saved by gallas!

and what an exciting match wasnt it, my Arsenal brothers? though we failed to gun the devils down, theyre f*cked up cause we're still top of the table with one game to spare. this is just to silence all the devils in my class on Monday. its a draw so dont bother arguing about anything. yes football, like any other sport, involves luck so lucky us that we have an angel of salvation. and home turf? doesnt matter. what matters most is that 1. Arsenal top 2. Play Beautiful 3. Manu not on top xD. so lets all conclude that it was a FAIR match. and when ronaldo gets old will the gals still love him or will they turn into those i-love-beckham kinda aunties?

and now yes, finally, i get what you mean when you call me Evra (sadistic mofo).

i now know that kids are very very very demanding. they need an unmeasurable amount of attention (like a girlfriend does), care (same), undying love (still same) and a whole new level of tolerance. you need to give in to them but the trick is to not overgive. i still stick to my method that being mutually friendly yet exuding a 'im-older-than-you-so-respect-me' aura works better than a 'im-older-than-you-so-if-you-dont-respect-me-things-will-get-nasty' feel. and when you play games with kids, its encouraged that you go for a draw or a lost. winning is never an option unless you're seriously getting whupped in the as*. discipline is also important. now that d-word is like a thing of a past. sometimes though, it's used excessively like the child is in NS or something.

but really, sometimes kids can get really out of hand and discipline is the way to go. i myself was raised on discipline (i got my as* whupped ok) but i think without it i would have gone and be some useless mofo without any principles or respect or any of that sh!t. but too much of it hurts in the long run as well. kids are our future and i sense that the future is bleak. but i love kids. i mean who doesnt? theyre so full of energy as if they had energisers for lunch or something and some of them are adorable. its a rollercoaster ride.

pictureless lobster update: the thing (i havent decided on a name so please help) just MOULTED yesterday. i was like, hey isnt that its shell or something? and thats very cool cause it means that its healthy and growing (yes!) another cool thing is that it actually EATS its old shell. amazing.

rock on..

love you love you love you love you love you love you...

im very much out of place

you know when you think about it, there isnt really alot to write about. not unless you live magical and eventful lives and robots that transform into vehicles are your friends. then again, wirting about your life is totally pointless...because it usually is. it serves no purpose but to tell everyone how shriveled or bad your life is. or if it isnt, it probably is anyway.

therefore i sometimes think that this site is rather meaningless. i have tried many times to rejuvenate it, much to my dismay. i tried putting up pictures but i couldnt keep up with the drawings (cause partially im lazy) and nobody reads this save for a handfull. or that there is a mystic force-field that prevents everyone from tagging.

i think ive gone from a bad to worse writer since i left secondary school. or since ive stopped reading books and as a result my command or english has decomposed(still is) to a pile of stinking rotting lobsters(?). i only eat to live and yes, to the delight of most of you, live to eat.

but seriously, my mind is dry and blank. i can try to draw though, but no one is free enough to join me in my daring escapades. i try to find solace in the library but that doesnt do me any good cause ive finished redeing and re-reading the entire sandman novels and i dont believe that there is anything out there(storywise) that is on par.

i seriously believe that i am an outast and i live in my own world. is that true to all artists? or have i yet to encountera group of people that share my beliefs and views on this pre-apocalyptic world? cause i think im going crazy(when i write this she'll call me and ask are you okay?) but no im am fine, just out of place.

maybe if i throw myself onto a drug-laden alcoholic diet and cave myself into my room with a pair of drumsticks, a paintset, pencils, pens and the whole empty 3/4 of a room all to myself, heck, i'll be the next john fruciante(wiki him). that, or i'd die a horrible and painfull death alone, sunk in misery, a major hangover and cold turkey.

i tried to re-establih my once-abundant imagination and inspiration with rhcp's oldie songs like fight like a brave and get up and jump but that didnt do me any good. i really do need inspiration(not the software) and i need it know.

i need a portfolio.

rock on...

love you...