santa claus

dear santa, here it goes




lamb of god 'killedelphia' CD/DVD


official merchandised red hot chili peppers shirt


LARGE plain black hoodie w/ zipper

and maybe some peace and tranquility. lobster dinner with my friends. yes lobster. lobster. cant get the taste out of my mind. succulent. marvelous. yummy.

and yes, christmas falls on the 25th this year.

happy happy

well no one likes to read emo posts. so i shall stop.

so



"how could i forget to mention, the bicycle is a good invention?"
sorry if, i was a burden to anyone.

i think i found the in-between =D music music. time to buy a new pair of LIGHTER sticks and NOT play rock but just groove and groove along.

rock on.

denial

there's something wrong with me lately. sudden bursts of uncontrolled anger. scenes of self-made violence runs through my mind now and then. metal. sometimes its sorrow, void of anything. happiness has left and in its place lies the remembrance of deceit, pain and betrayal.

emokid emokid emokid

i'll fucking bash the brains of the person that calls me that.

its not like i fucking want these things to come they just come and go. now that theres so much work to do i suddenly feel the stress creeping back over my shoulder and there is currently no way to LET LOOSE. i am not a loose cannon. just a pressure cooker cooking its way to oblivion. i felt diabolical once again. sadistic. something i havent felt for YEARS.

close friends of mine should know how i was back then. evil.

the void of the cork allows the wine to flow freely. the void of the wine glass turns the whoe affair into a bloody red mess on a white tablecloth. what is it that i truly want? straight As? someone to hold? a good time?

one person dies (yes die. die and burn in motherfucking hell)(ok sorry i flipped) another one is gained. im very fortunate and honoured to have gained another sister. and i hope like with many of my other sisters i will be the best brother any sibling can have.

so all is not lost. stop listening to slipknot motherfuckers. lamb of god is here to stay!

rock on

the siren's call

now things are different.

today in IA class - a siren is a mythological creature that is made up of a beautiful lady's head on top of a bird-like body. what these tykes do is lure men, usually sea men, to sharp jaggedly rocks by their voices, hence the siren's call. this call is supposedly so powerful that ALL men will be distracted into this horrible fate.

the other day in history class - Dr Sean/Sian said that in biblical terms it is usually the women that drive men to their deaths. and don't forget it was eve who was tempted by Satan to eat the forbidden fruit.

all of a sudden i feel like Adam, wanting to EAT the forbidden fruit. but knowing that i cant possibly do that i hesitate and this hunger lingers within me. "do you still **** me?" sounds like the invitation. the "i don't **** **** you" part is the part where i get flung onto earth. that is if i munch on the fruit. **** is a word that ends with E. go figure. =D

someone in need of help and company could be misunderstood as someone having an infatuation on you. just because the person goes to you for help does not mean the person is having a crush on you. many subliminal messages can be brought about unknowingly by both separate persons.

which ultimately brings me back to the siren's call. "do not heed the siren's call" is what I'm telling myself now. Odysseus tied himself to the mast of his ship before passing through the sirens. i on the other hand have no rope and MIGHT end up in disaster if i get careless.

rock on

the korean invasion

ok look at what Lophe did to my sketchbook =S

(its obviously not drawn by me)






for those of you who dont know, Lophe is THAT korean girl in my class. the one you guys like to talk about. SHEESH. and some of you have pretty silly minds. to think that i love kimchi.

actually i do love korean food, heck i love ALL food

rock on

start

i am considering printmaking as my major now because it is so fucking amazing and because i am having some problem painting with acrylic. no fun =\ im going to borrow some instructional books from the library i guess. i just cant mix the colors right.

the first step - delete the blog link. second step - delete the email. now do i have to delete the number as well? there is no point visiting the blog. it makes my condition worse. the email never online. the number never picks up anymore.

i cant wait for the day im fully recovered.

thanks leslie.

rock on

metal head

good stuff right?

im starting to hate the night. its fucking lonely. fucking it is. i kind of dont like to be alone. i dont know. i have issues i guess. but i have the right to feel what i want to feel. its just another test i suppose. every test has a reward but this test is probably the HARDEST test ive ever faced. after 3 long years, an abrupt stop. a crash.

picking myself up from the crash. from the bent metal, the shattered glass. amidst the pool of blood and burning rubber. the senselessness of it all. i have to go back to the start. suddenly the concept of starting afresh is frightening. the fear of not knowing what is coming. or where im heading.


slipknot - snuff
with lyrics, goddamn

i cried to this fucking song. i cried myself to sleep.

did i deserve to have you..

rock on

shoes again

hi good peoples. currently doing shoes for Rui xiang. i guess i owe him that much. he has been asking me to finish it for more than a month now. and he promised us CHAMPION for sports day. i guess i felt guilty after that so..



damn that is wicked sick. i wish it were my shoes =x


"muhoho"

switching to last gear, highest gear. assignments all the way. no time for love =D friendship will pull me through. i HOPES

rock on

relapse

rock on

nafa sports day part 1

i only have this picture. thats why part one =)

part two will have all the group photos (thanks bryan & eza) and all the ACTION.

where ma party people at at?

rock on

lotus bloom

short one

its good to know that for all those lonely times, when the past comes biting back, you have your friends and especially especially very important red hot chili peppers.

rock on

jamming sessions

usual class today. i had to sit damn far from the thing. suffered from fever the first few hours of morning. thanks very much jasmine for buying the panadol =D i only took one and felt better already. thanks all.




charcool again.

so today we jammed again but this time with jianwei. he can play well but the guitar sounded like a broken toy and to quote from him " the guitar..its only good for firewood" and the drum pedal is totally fucked as well. but we managed to make the most out of it. teaching him how to play drums xD

rock on

hot gates

happy birthday leslie koh you quan, my longest best friend. ive known you for half my life, since primary school. i remember all the times we spent dedicating our time to Magic the Gathering which eventually became my main influence for art. all the late nights at your house playing stupid online games and how you havent beaten me in winning eleven. at most its a draw. then again, i havent beaten you either. hahaha! hope you and serene get better and better. and thanks to your mom for giving me such a loyal friend.


did this for leslie's birthday. the colours arent dark enough. testing testing only la. im sorry if it doesnt look that good. im also blaming the lighting in the room when the picture was taken. taken at night. done in watercolours, my new favourite medium because acrylic waste paint (seriously)

oh you looking for paint?

had open house today. thanks to all my friends that came. sorry i didnt invite all of you. it was quite packed and theres nothing much to do anyway except watch tv and play cards, which was what we did. so thanks to keith jiayi samuel jasmine olivia elaine chongtat catherine danya and ian for coming over.

currently packed with assignments which im determined to finish this time. i suddenly have motivation to do my 3d studies. its like what doctor sian said (pronounced shun) finish your work on the day itself if possible. if not theyll bite you in the ass when the deadline comes (dateline xD). ok she didnt exactly say that but it was along that line uh.

i am enjoying the re-runs of bujang lapok on preview channel.

rock on

cool shit

i jammed with shane the beatboxer yesterday during tutorial xD. we were supposed to jam with a lot of other people but it turned out that the room can only be opened after 3. so shane booked it from 3 to 5. haha seeing that alot of people have not done their work, me and shane started jamming at 430. lol we only had half an hour but we did like 2 impromptu collaborations.

damn funny. i was trying to follow his beatbox beats. and he was trying to follow me so there was a lil confusion but it turned out great in the end. its just our first jam. and i love the splash cymbal there. everyone should have a splash cymbal. I should have one at home but i dont =\ then there was this huge ass teddy bear stuffed inside the bass drum. hahaha. last time me and sam stuffed a sleepng bag into the school drumset to muffle the sound and during band camp we would open the bass drum to use the bag to sleep! xD

signs of good times after a bad time eh? at night i played dota with the sam ian des. turned out i wasnt as good as i was before. then at night 'practised' dota again with dz. lol i kept losing cause i was trying out new heroes and i forgot ALL the builds! then dz said 'ok this time use your best hero' and i was killing him alot of times with rhasta, my current best. but im still a noob now la compared to last time. haha just a game. win lose also never mind =)

rock on

a short one 123

just wishing selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin to all the people out there. and happy children's day as well =)

rock on

eve of raya

i have absolutely NO MOOD to celebrate hari raya.

podium finish

f1!! f1 was so awesome thought i didnt get to see it at the city. i still cant get to hear the scream of the engine up close and personal. maybe next year la. glad that hamie is first in championship points. muaha. but still, you got to pity kimi. he's been crashing his car alot lately. and massa too. sucky luck eh?

speaking of sucky luck, poor poor arsenal lost to hull city. =\ i shouldnt have laughed at ian when liverpool drew with stoke. poetic justice right?

school is as per normal. normal stuff, typical arrangement. oh today we had this hand sculpture thing with a broken pinkie.


ok la. not bad right. starting to like charcoal and pastel, like damn fun. oh yeah that alvin was being a bit lame again today. for those of you who dont know alvin is our class tutor. he was goin round giving adjectives to our 'style' of drawing. julie got 'smooth'. tell you hers is really really damn smooth. the blending is super smooth xD. mine was 'mechanical'. i have no idea why.

ok for this saturday im having open house for hari raya. anybody whose somebody thats going please text me for details! i dont want to leave my address out here =x.

rock on

the story of the year

we broke up

boy do i sound like a devil

abijan

this one's going to be a long one without pictures.

i went to watch mama mia with the class people today. mind you i would never watch that if not for investigating art (we have to do a movie review). its a love comedy musical thing. and why am i writing about this? well you see in that show there are several scenes that made me think about my relationship with sarah. several questions that i do not have answers to. was it bad to end it? was it wrong for it to happen? how did it happen in the first place? what is it that i really want? and what do i need?

recently things havent been smooth sailing. this usually means hour long arguments with sarah on msn. cutting to the chase, there are some things i wished i hadnt said and there are some things that she wished she did not do. we all have our regrets. and as i sit here pouring my thoughts and recollections onto this blog i cant help but wonder what is going through her head right now. i cant begin to imagine what consequences we brought into our lives after this battle of words and emotions. she doesnt pick up my calls now. i still cannot believe that we are actually breaking apart.

the truth is, i still love her. i still hold a space, an emotion left somewhere here inside. but i guess its not going to work out. i just cant put my finger on it. i cant bring myself to delete her messages or our pictures together. i dont know whether i should or should not. i really dont know what to do now. it hasnt been abrupt but a slow constant decline. i dont know what to do. its just all blank now.

the other side of the story

thats her side of the story right there. read it if you want. in fact i want you to. there shouldnt be any biasness. i feel as if ive killed a person or worse. but i know things have to change. times change ane people change. i guess the reason ive been feeling much remorse is because this is my first genuine time im going through this. my mind works simple. it just filters out the soppy stuff. it wants itself to look strong and be strong. spartan strong you know? no sadness no weakness. something that turns me into a robot. even silentmode has more emotion than me i guess.

is the break up official? my mind says yes but my heart is still saying no.

rock on
?

straight

straight. period.

we tried woodcut in printmaking. this is just a test run. see printmaking fun right?



ok final week of puasa already. the final stretch. these few days have been killer. getting exhausted too easily already. but after this week its full force on the school work! no more mr grumpy anymore. food galore! everyday! rejoice mofos!

rock on
love you

charcoal doesnt mean bbq

omg. first day of school after the two weeks break..and im late =D surprisingly, it wasnt all that bad. we only have one class on monday. and alot of people cut their hair. yes including me.i came 2 hours late so i ended up staying back after class to finish up whatever we're supposed to do today.



rock on
love you

("'\(.:.....:.)/"')

i really should be doing my essays and stuff.
things i have not done (yet) :

history essay
landscape painting - details
stick sculpture - no picture w/ brick
wire model - no picture too
animal cutouts - not handed in (i forget to bring everytime)


so thats about sums up my weekend. oh wait, theres soccer tonight. sarah's off to johor and wont be back till late at night! =S


rock on
love you

collages-school

i just realised that paper collages can be fun =D








rock on
love you

_

sigh. i really feel like jamming again. maybe i need to join/form a 'side band'. something like not main band but like for fun peace and good wacky times. lay down some beats that kinda thing, groovy stuff. but with school work and ESSAYS how sia?

rock on
love you

ps; me and sarah ok already, for those of you who know lol

dota fights back

trying watercolors again. not nice right? i know. but the photo taken at night so its not that bright and clear.



anyway..

wouldnt you know it? i just went to play dota the other day at the lan shop. it was me dzariff luqman daniel and dz's friends hazim and ong. dz went ahead with his troll warlord and luqman doesnt really remember how to play. daniel was same old same old with his broodmother. hazim is real good but how good i dont know. i think if i went 1v1 with him i could take him. ong was a real spammer. spam zeus summore lol. luckily sam's words of advice was still stuck in my head. "if he plays a strong spellcaster, go for a hood of defiance" and wouldnt you know it, it worked. i was playing rhasta.

so the first match i lost cause i had two feeders (kidding guys. abit more practise and then youre there =x) but the second match i teamed up with hazim and daniel. we were owning xD thats because amongst all of us me and hazim are the top two best. luqman played better this time round using dragon knight but he was still reeking of newbie-ness. i had a uneasy time with ong in my lane spamming chain lightnings but i know that spamming wont kill me. in the end we won hands down with me and hazim going round killing people. shackle is my best friend maan.

even though i had a good time today, it still doesnt compare to the past when me and sam chionged and chionged dota like there was no tomorrow nor the day after tomorrow. we were ultimately crazy, ripping through their defences and slaughtering them lol. good times eh?

ps; ok for those people who arent gaming people, sorry for the boring post! xD

rock on
love you

a day at SAM

went to the singapore art museum today to do my investigating art thing. there were lots of galleries in there but i only went into one =\ thats the consequence of arriving late. the others had already finished viewing the rest and since i needed to write about only one artwork, i just settled for what grabbed my attention in that one viewing gallery.

then all of us (jasmine jianwei danya chongtat alina eve me) just sat there INSIDE the gallery itself like we were having a picnic. lol it got real funny when danya started to draw our faces (except mine cause i was lucky =D). alina's one looked really good. we all swapped our sketchbooks. i liked alina's cheery use of colours and space. danya's portrait of leonardo looked real good too.

after all that we went all over the place (substation, raffles city) before heading to the national museum which i took pics!






ok not alot but this was the only free exhibit i guess. and im not a picture person we all know that.

moving on, we went to the esplanade library to kill time. see i have very thoughtful friends. they went ahead and fasted with me! lol so being art students we slaughtered the two hours by drawing. somehow chongtat and danya love to draw portraits of jasmine. i settled for this..



john moyer from disturbed
taken from Bass Player magazine
a few things i dont like. but its just a sketch. more practise dzaki! and i should try different media as well, as advised by ms lee mun yee. its good to keep contact with your art teachers lol.

one last thing..



i call this 'searching for something'. sometimes when i dont know what to draw i just do this. draw lines and lines and hatch and cross-hatch, not knowing what i want or what im thinking. i guess the only thing im thinking is where i want to put the dark parts. comment please =D

rock on
love you

zoo

i didnt take any pictures but i got these instead =D the damn buggers kept moving.













this is what elaine would look like if she was a guy. no lah actually jasmine was teaching me how to draw female faces and figures. i gave up halfway and turned it into a guy.

had a lot of fun at the zoo yesterday. the people who attended were jianwei jasmine elaine yizhen irfan shuting that chinese gal(cant remember name sorry) evelyn me and lophe! did i forget anyone? sorry if i did. fish didnt come cause he was drunk =\ and lost his wallet the previous night. ji hyun came home late last night after a night of pubbing.

it rained terribly in the morning and we had to camp at kfc till it stopped. some of us got separated from the group several times and we had to back track to find these lost souls lol. it was a real good day. made a few new friends. but time and time again god would test me about where my true feelings lie.

rock on
love you

quickie

this was done on poor sam's arm back in january at queenstown library. seriously when you got no school you get to do alot of wacky things.done with my favouritest of all pens the g-tech 0.4 black pen.

going to the zoo later in the morning with the coursemates. hoping for a cool breezy day ahead. wonder what the day will bring eh?


rock on
love you

4-5/100

i guess if you're moody, it's reflected on what you draw. at least for the first one ya. i almost went insane but the second one didnt take that much time.

so 4 and 5 out of 100. =x

rock on
love you

cold marina square

ok im officially bored at home. tutorial week sucks. i cant do any work at home. its some sort of a curse.

so methinks me should head over to the library or whatnot. good idea eh?

currently addicted to facebook i have no idea why. i think being tucked away in one corner of the world for too long has got me yearning for company once again. yeah i cant be alone. it kinda sucks.

also, town is boring. bras basah is boring. marina square is still too cold. dont even talk to me about orchard. so little things too much time. heh, never thought id be saying that.

so no picture today. every picture drains the shit out of me. gym yesterday was so damn tiring. have to push harder and harder i guess. dont know for what reason but haha, it sure as hell feels good.

maybe i should go out again today. ian is getting his ibanez. and there's a potential for a movie but money-wise, i shouldnt have spent 20 bucks at art friend yesterday. and that star wars movie is half-baked but still good to me i guess. damned lucas has lost his magic.

rock on
love you

2-3 / 100

im such a fag, i know.
3 down 97 more to go.

rock on
love you

poolside

classic moment at jon's place. sorry its not the right side up




well im off to finish my leftover assignments and they are such a bore. im better off painting and painting stuff or drawing some fantasy shit again. two week break begins here and i think im going to finish off EVERYTHING before the first week ends.


1/100 for the sketchbook

yeah call me freakishly hardworking. i just wanna clear everything and then i can gym.


rock on
love you

that feeling

i cant help but think that something's going on but nobody's telling me. hmmmmm. i guess sooner or later someone will spill the beans. hopefully.

fasting month is ok i guess. i think this time round isnt as beautiful as the other times. im always exhausted from school and schoolwork. and the long one hour rides to and fro doesnt help me at all. it gets worse if it rains but i dont mind the rain. rain = prosperity in my religion i think.

our song =)

theres only one person i think of whenever i hear this song and thats you.

rock on
love you

taz' dingo!

so 'holidays' are coming. holidays = tutorial weeks. so they give us two weeks of free time to finish up or re-do our previous assignments, if we're not happy with it or if THEYRE not happy with it. lol

fasting month is just fasting month. same old same old. i look forward to every weekend now that soccer is up and running again. can never live without soccer. another thing i cant live without is hawker centre food. i cant imagine living overseas, feeding myself on western food everyday. sure there's italian pasta in italy or snails in france but i will miss my dear chicken rice, nasi goreng, egg prata etc. foodies out there will share my thoughts.

nothing much to update. will post more 'art' next time round.

rock on
love you