its really stressing, keeping up with datelines. so much stress, so much pressure. i just got to keep it under control. i want to do well. after a year wasted, i dont think i'd wana play around anymore. i wana make it big. i wana score. i wana get good grades. finally, the feeling is coming back. the desire to do well, to achieve good results. someting i havent felt since sec two. or since i started playing drums. the desire to draw better, to drumroll seamlessly, to play paradiddles.
now the desire is to design well. to pay carefull attention during class. to not miss lectures. to attend school punctually. to give a damn about my education. i've gone too far to change direction. if i wana do anything significant in my life now is the time. now is the time to shine. my time, is now. i was given a second chance. let's not blow it away. cause a lot of people have faith in me. i will not cast them aside.
and sarah. she's studying hard too. to get her As. to prove to others that have mocked her. so should i. i must study harder. go the distance. however, i do get lonely sometimes. cause when she studies, she thinks of only studying. she has put me on hold. i understand her decision. but i feel so cold.
i shiver.
i read The Sandman the other day at the library. sometimes i think im crazy. reading all this sinister dark stuff. like my mind's gone wack or something. for those who dont know Sandman - go google it..sandman - neil something..the author. its deep stuff.
then i read batman. also deep stuff. i dont read those normal comic books. i read...other stuff. and for what? inspiration i'd usually say. but somehow, reading these makes me feel at home. like im welcomed, accepted. im telling you, im crazy.
what would you do if you were crazy?
i so feel like drawing something. drawing how i feel. but there's no time for that now. gotta do school work. more important. forgive me for being a geek.
rock on...
love you...
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