primer

ive just had it with primer three. its just relentless, these primers. for those of who who are ignorant, primers = projects. although architecture is quite interesting, nmeaning you get to play with different moods using space, its just outright demanding! to be consistent in your work every single time is quite a task for me. sure we dont have exams but that doesnt mean its any levy.

its just one of those "i regret doing that" kinda thing. only for me, i have tons of regrets in my life. it all started in upper sec. i regret not taking combined sciences. of course, how would i know that fate would make me lousy in science? another regret was not working hard for art. i have to live with the misery of having an A2 for the rest of my miserable life. i should have listened to some voice at the back of my head screaming "NAFA!!! NAFA!!!". and now im 'supposedly NAFA's guy' on Ian's blog.

i think i have a slack attitude. i tend to slack alot. not doing work. refusing to constantly refresh myself with class. i skip lectures you know. i sleep late.

i think i need encouragement of some sort. a slap on the face maybe? whatever works i'll take it.

but that passion for art. that sensation i get when drawing pictures from my head. that still lingers. only i dont have much time to draw fantasy anymore. who likes drawing buildings anyway? fuck buildings and microstation! i want dragons and photoshop or paint. i want to be an artist. i rant. i cry. but at the end of the day, im stuck at the workshop thinking of how to make this space have something blah blih blah.

im not a smart person. i dont go to junior college. i dont wish i am. i just wana have a good time. doing what i love to do. architecture? gee i duno. i just dont. its always regret. but then will it be like last time? the time i hated chemistry. when i completely gave up on it at some point of time. and ended failing for almost every test and exam? but i passed in the end. just a mere pass. i wonder is they have a high diploma or low diploma? all i know that if i dont get good enough grades i dont go to university. boo hoo.

rock on...

a sad post..

i love you dear...